


His Heart and Soul

by Abboz



Series: Post-Endgame [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aunt Natasha Romanov, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Brotherly Love, Character Death Fix, Could Be Canon, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Extended Canon, F/M, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Family Reunion, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Headcanon, Long-Term Relationship(s), Missing Persons, Plenty of Clintasha, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Returning Home, True Love, Uncle Clint & Auntie Nat, Uncle Clint Barton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abboz/pseuds/Abboz
Summary: With Clint and Natasha reunited and starting to recover after the ordeal of her sacrifice, there's an unexpected knock at the door to the Barton homestead. Over the moon to see the love of her life alive, Laura worries it's too good to be true after all the luck they've already had. What reason could he possibly have for disappearing on his family? For being away so long that he didn't even know about the sweet little boy who had taken after him? But this is Barney, he loves her, loves them all, and after everything they went through to build a life together, she wants to believe more than anything that her family can finally be whole.
Relationships: Barney Barton & Clint Barton, Barney Barton & Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Barney Barton & Cooper Barton & Laura Barton & Lila Barton & Nathaniel Pietro Barton, Barney Barton/Laura Barton, Clint Barton & Cooper Barton & Laura Barton & Lila Barton & Nathaniel Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Laura Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Pepper Potts, Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts & Natasha Romanov
Series: Post-Endgame [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787635
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

As Laura opened the door, her mouth dropped open. Her eyes went wide, her breath not feeling like enough as she looked at the sight, the person before her. “Barney?!” She launched herself at him, and barely registered the bag that dropped to the floor as he caught her.

He stepped back to take the momentum, holding her there, suspended off the ground, her hands clutching at his back. “Oh my god, you’re still here.” He squeezed her tighter. “I was so scared I wouldn’t find you.”

“ _You_ were scared?!” He put her down and she pushed him away, but only to arm’s length, her fingers still gripping his shoulders. “I thought you were _dead_. Where the _hell_ have you been? You disappeared on us, on me.” She watched as his brow creased. “ _I_ was scared. You left me pregnant and terrified I wouldn’t be able to do it all on my own!”

His expression softened as he realised exactly what she’d just said. “Pregnant? Oh Laur...”

She nodded, and just the sound of her name on his lips made everything but him being there melt away. Only he ever called her that. “I was only a couple of weeks when you went missing, too early to know. A little boy. He’s called Nathaniel and he looks even more like you than Cooper.” She bit back the impulse to tell him what a blessing the baby had felt like, one last gift that he’d given her.

“Nathaniel?” He smiled. “You named him after Nat?” They’d been around; he was right to trust them.

“We thought he was going to be a girl, until the last scan confirmed otherwise. I’d already decided not to burden him with his uncle’s name.”

Laughter caught in his breath at her half-joke, then he blew the air out, shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. Someone was after me, they tried to kill me, I had to let them believe it worked. Until I could stop them, I had to stay away to keep you safe, you and our children.”

“Keep us safe?”

“Yeah. Why did you think I asked the two of them to look after you if anything happened to me?”

Her eyes started to water. “So I wouldn’t be on my own. I didn’t think anyone would...”

“That’s because they truly care about you, and they didn’t know either.”

Her grip tightened on his shoulders. “You could have sent me a message. Even if it said nothing other than you’re alive.”

“Would that have been enough?” He was sure it wouldn’t. “If you’d had even a hint you’d have looked for me, or got Clint and Nat to. You wouldn’t have let it go and you’d put yourself in danger doing it. I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t risk it.”

“That doesn’t make just disappearing okay.”

“I know.” He let go of her, put his left hand over hers. Cold metal touched her skin and she felt her breath hitch, stealing a glance at the same spot. Settling the other palm against the curve of his neck, she met his gaze once more. “I knew I was taking a different kind of risk doing what I did. But the thre- four of you are alive because I did it. I would do it again every time just for that outcome and nothing more.”

Slowly, Laura let him draw her hand away from his shoulder, his fingers curling round hers. Silent, he waited for her to pull away. Instead, she held him back, the other hand drifting down onto his arm. He looked at their intertwined fingers, and her gaze followed his. She realised it wasn’t their hands he was staring at but the swirling pattern he’d chosen for her ring.

“You haven’t...?”

“I’ve been raising three kids. Never found the time.” Dropping the thin façade, she looked back up at his face, taking in his bewildered expression, the smile he was just about holding back. “I never got over what happened… over…”

Barney met her gaze, put his free hand on her waist to draw her closer without thinking. “I swear, come hell or high water, I will be here from now on. Whatever you say goes, however much you want, however slow. All I ask is that you give me the chance to be part of the children’s lives.”

“You’re sure it’s safe?”

“It’s a long story. But I’m sure.”

She nodded. “Then of course. But you might need to give them some time.”

Beneath her fingertips, most of the tension he’d been carrying faded from his muscles. “Thank you.” He squeezed her hand. “Lila and Cooper, they must be so big now, and I can’t wait to meet little Nathaniel.”

Watching him, she waited for him to continue, but the question never came. “You aren’t going to ask for a chance with me?”

“Do I have a chance?”

She looked into his eyes, he seemed to mean it. Did he really not see how much this moment alone meant to her? How much he still did? “For better or for worse, right? We’ve certainly had the ‘worse’ part, but now you’re home, _surely_ we can have the ‘better’ back.”

“I hope so.” He shifted a fraction closer, lifting his hand to cup her cheek. She didn’t flinch, for a second didn’t move at all, and then tilted her head up. She felt his fingers curl against the back of her neck before he spoke again. “Can I?”

She grinned, laughter almost bursting out of her. “Kiss me, you idiot!”

* * *

“That laugh...”

Lila pushed open the door of her house, pausing at the threshold at the sound of a man’s voice in their house.

“You should be really proud of yourself, you’re such an amazing mom. Look at them. Oh, he’s so sweet and so…. happy.”

This time, she definitely knew that voice. “Dad?”

“Lila?”

“Dad!” She ran away from her brothers, from her auntie and uncle, desperate to actually see him there and this time not just be hearing things. “Dad! Dad!”

As she broke into the living room, she found her parents sat together, her mother holding her phone between them and her head on his shoulder. It was real. He was real.

“Dad!” Her legs had stopped working for a second, but she found her feet again, pushing herself towards him so fast that he barely had time to stand and catch her.

“Oh my god, Lila, you’re so big.” He brought one hand up to cup her face, shifting it to the back of her head as she burrowed into his chest and squeezed him tight. “And so beautiful. Oh, I missed you. I love you, honey.”

He heard her breath catch, felt her start to tremble in his arms, and held her tighter just as the rest of his family walked in behind her.

“Barney? No way…” Clint and Nat’s faces quickly changed from shock to joy, him even more so to see that his niece’s call to her father’s voice had rightly been met with him at the end. The last time she’d been disappointed by unknowingly calling him, his fraught voice sounding like his brother when a younger, happier him had already been in the house with her.

Nathaniel stood with his hand tucked in his aunt’s, he looked at his sister crying in the arms of a man he didn’t know, and then up at Natasha’s face. He saw she was smiling, and so was his uncle. His mommy looked even happier at the man’s side, her gaze lingering on his almost familiar face. Maybe Lila wasn’t hurt, maybe this guy could be trusted because even his brother was walking towards him, bewildered but cautiously starting to reflect the happiness around him.

“Dad?” He peered at him as he grew close, he looked almost the same but with all the crazy changes over the last few weeks, he didn’t know what to believe. They’d already had their miracle, two really, hadn’t they?

“Cooper! Come here.” He reached out with his right hand, cupping the boy’s face as soon as he was close enough. “Look at you, you’ve grown so much too, you’re a man.” Drawing him closer, he then wrapped the arm around his back, holding them both to him, and ever so grateful they were letting him. “I love you. I have missed you both like crazy, and your mom.”

He pulled back a little and looked at the affection and awe on his father’s face. “Where have you been?”

“I... have been keeping you all safe...” He could see from his son’s expression that that wasn’t enough, and rightly so. “And I will tell you guys, and your uncle and aunt, all about it soon, just let me tell your mom first.”

After a moment, Cooper nodded. “Okay.”

He was a good kid. “Thank you. I’m gonna make it up to you for being away so long.”

Lila’s tears seemed to be drying as she too gazed up at him. “I just wanted you back.”

He looked between the two of them. “I want you both to know that I didn’t want to leave you, you are my world and I couldn’t see any other way to keep you safe. I love you both so much. And your mom...” He couldn’t resist letting his gaze settle on her as he felt her presence at his side. “Your mom is the love of my life.”

“I love you too, Dad.” Lila rested her head against him again, watching as her brother thought about it and then relented, leaning into another hug.

Maybe he should be angry with him, but the explanation would come. In the meantime, he still wasn’t sure whether he didn’t feel the same as his sister, or simply just couldn’t admit to it. “I’m glad you’re home.”

That was enough for him. “Me too.”

Barney gently let them go as he saw his wife’s attention pulled away from them to their youngest child. Little Nathaniel looked confused, and Nat was crouched down beside him, her arm around his shoulders as she whispered promises that he had nothing to worry about and would soon understand.

Laura left his side to go to their son, telling him she had someone for him to meet. Drawn by the sight of him in her arms, he took his hands off the eldest two’s shoulders and walked past them. Slowly, she brought the boy to him, wrapping her arm around her husband to show her son it was safe. “Nate, this is your daddy.”

“Really? You’re my daddy?”

He nodded, a little dumbfounded but pushing through it. “I’m your daddy. Oh… look at you.”

“I can’t. I’m me.”

Barney laughed, heard Laura do the same, the pent-up emotion finally bursting out of him. He couldn’t have held back the tears if he wanted to.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because you’re amazing. I’m just overwhelmed by how beautiful you are, and how much you look like your mom.”

“But... mommy said I look like my daddy, like you.”

“That’s because you do,” Laura insisted, looking up at her husband and sliding her hand up his back to bring him even closer. As he switched his gaze to her, she smiled, before turning back to Nathaniel’s curious face.

“Is that good?”

The man beamed even wider. “You’ll have to ask your mom about that.”

She gave her answer before he even had the chance. “I think it is.”

Drawing them both into his arms, he kissed her temple in gratitude, only to feel a little hand settle on his shoulder. Nathaniel watched his mother turn her face to make their noses touch, smiling once again, except he hadn’t really seen it fade since they’d got back. He beamed at the joy radiating from her, at how comfortable she looked with him. The only man he’d ever seen be affectionate with her was his uncle, and this was much more than that, this was almost like when Clint kissed his Auntie Nat.

“Daddy?” He grabbed at his shirt and pulled, and was successful in getting their attention.

It caught him off guard, so he took a breath. “Yeah?” He grinned when the boy just peered at him. “What is it?” Nate pulled at his clothing again, so Laura shifted to let him lean towards his father, and offered their son for him to hold. “Come here, Nathaniel.” Settling him on his hip, he put his free arm around his wife’s waist to encourage her to stay right there with them, not that she needed it. From what he could tell, this continued silence didn’t seem like him at all, so he whispered, “Are you alright? Want me to put you down?”

“Don’t let go.”

“Okay.” He nodded, held him a little tighter in the hope that would make him feel secure. “What’s up, eh? The thought of looking like me isn’t that bad, I hope.”

The combination of the joke, and Laura stroking his hair seemed to convince him the impulse to trust him was right. “Daddy, will you teach me to ride a bike? Please?"

Barney stared at him, not sure what he’d expected him to ask but it wasn’t that. “Erm, yeah. Of course I will. I will teach you anything you want me to.”

“Good, ‘cause Cooper told me you teached him. I wanna learn too.”

He nodded. “I did teach him, with your mom. We had fun teaching Lila too.”

Laura tucked herself against his side a little more, then reached across him to cup Nate’s face. “And I told you we’d get you a bike for Christmas.”

“Nice try.” Barney shook his head, but the grin didn’t fade. “You can’t use me to get round your mom, that’s not gonna work. I would love to teach you after Christmas though.”

The boy looked at his dad, and then the way his mom was looking at him too. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her so happy. “Okay, you passed.”

“I passed?” The confusion was plastered across his face.

“You can share with me if you want.”

“I can what?”

“But I thought...” His expression started to mirror his father’s, highlighting how much he had unknowingly taken after him, and not just in appearance. “Aren’t you gonna live here with us?”

Looking at his hopeful little face, Barney felt the tears returning, and then Laura’s touch on his cheek as she wiped them away. Seeing he was getting choked up, she helped him out with an answer. “Yes, he is, sweetheart. But you’re not gonna need to share your room; I’m sure we can find him somewhere else.”

As she looked at him, with the softest curl of her lips, she noticed his gaze flick down from her eyes for a split second. Beaming wider, she shifted her hand to the back of his neck and pulled him to her for a kiss.

Nathaniel poked his cheek, coaxing a chuckle from him as he turned to face him once more. “What? You want some?” He glanced at Laura who had a knowing look on her face like she’d had the same idea.

“Okay, your turn then.” Together they leant in, each kissing a cheek and exaggerating the act.

Giggling, he pulled away from their touch, tucking his body against his dad and shielding himself from their affection. All of a sudden, Barney fell serious, let go of Laura and wrapped that arm tightly around his son too. Peering as best as he could at his face, he carefully cradled his head in his palm, whispering, “I love you.”

Laura watched as Nathaniel turned in his arms, resting his head against the curve of his father’s neck and earning himself a smile. The sight was like a dream, one she had actually had, many times, but her imagination had fallen short.

Wrapping her arm around Barney’s back, she leant her chin against the opposite shoulder. “Thank you for making it home to us.”

“Are you kidding? Thank _you_ for being here for me to come home to.”

She tilted her head at him. Maybe some would call it realism but really that was the self-doubt speaking, the fears that still lingered, the effects of a childhood full of abuse. She was sure in his heart he knew her better than that, so she pressed her hand to the middle of chest to tell him to listen to it.

The message got through. He smiled at her, letting the unspoken words linger between them, then turned back to Nate. “You comfy there?” The boy didn’t move other than smiling at his breath on his skin. “I don’t think our little buddy’s going anywhere.”

She shook her head in agreement, but he didn’t see, he was looking at Clint, at the shock still on his face.

“Come here, little brother.” He stepped towards him, holding his free arm out to offer a hug, one that was gladly accepted.

“Lila, and Laura, they were right. I can hardly believe this is real, that you’re here.”

“Honestly, same here.” He slowly drew back, but left his hand on his shoulder. “But what the hell happened to you? I thought I looked worse for wear.”

“Erm...” He swallowed the feelings that started to well up. Those were memories he hadn’t thought would come up so soon, ones he wanted to forget. “It’s been a really rough couple of weeks.” He felt Natasha put her hand on his back, and relaxed considerably at the reminder she was there. “And a pretty rough five years before that.”

“Right.” He offered Nat a smile, reaching out to embrace her for a moment too. “I know how hard you both fought to get everyone back.” Actually Clint was sure he didn’t if he hadn’t known why he still looked such a state. “Thank you so much.”

He shook his head. “We just wanted our family back.”

Barney nodded. “Thank you for being there for them when I couldn’t.” As they both smiled, he shifted his gaze to Nat. “And thank _you_ for looking after him.”

“That’s what partners are for.”

“True.” He beamed back. “So I hope he looked after you too.”

Wrapping her arm around Clint’s middle, she pulled him into her side and rested her left hand against his chest. “Of course he did.”

In turn, he lifted his own to cover hers, expressing his gratitude as he met her gaze.

“Hold up.” Barney closed the distance on them again, just a single pace, then reached forward to touch his brother’s fourth knuckle. “How long did it take you two idiots to figure this out?”

With a shake of her head, she laughed, beaming at Clint. “Go on, tell him.”

He leant into her, then looked at his grinning brother. “Actually, we’ve got something to confess…”

In the following pause, Barney glanced at his family and then turned back to the couple in front of him, examining their expressions. “Tell us then.”

“They’ve known for a long time, actually since this one” —he stroked Nathaniel’s hair— “was three days old.”

He watched his son’s brow twitch at the gesture, gave the tense spot a quick kiss, and then eyed them both. “Known what?”

Nat waited for her partner to answer. When he didn’t, she squeezed his side. “We were already married when you and Clint reconnected.”

“Seriously?”

She nodded. “Keeping it from you wasn’t personal, it was our secret, we hadn’t told anybody. We were agents, spies, and trying to keep ourselves safe. If no one knew then it couldn’t be used against us, or against you, but for a while now we’ve been able to let the people we trust in on what we are.”

A soft, leisurely smile spread across his face as she spoke. “Good.” The way Clint was gazing at her only made that feeling grow, and it showed. “Honestly, I couldn’t be happier for you guys. Whenever you two came to visit, I’d see the way you looked at each other, all the respect and trust you had. You couldn’t miss how much fun you had together either, always laughing, endless in-jokes. With all that, how close you were, and the way you spoke about each other; it was clear to me that you were each other’s person. And even though I used to wonder how you couldn’t see that you were in love with each other, I was just glad that Clint was finally happy, that you both were. The best thing my brother ever did was marry you.”

Natasha beamed as he drew her closer and pressed a kiss to her temple, murmuring against her skin, “Second best really.” She quickly pulled back, and Clint smiled at the way she looked quizzically at him, knowingly deliberate in doing so. “I have told you so many times. You know the best thing I ever did was asking you to come with me to S.H.I.E.L.D.”

She gazed into his eyes for a lingering moment, nodding very slightly and then rewarding him with a kiss. Even after parting, he still had the same look on his face, so she just grinned wider. “Thank you.”

He shook his head. “No, thank you for trusting me and being crazy enough to be my partner from that moment on.”

Unable to look away, her left hand fell to his side, instinctively drawing him nearer. “The only crazy I am is crazy happy.”

He leant into her touch, purposefully bringing his face a little closer to hers. “Well _I_ am crazy in love with you.”

“Okay, smooth talker, that too…” Gradually her smile softened until it barely showed. “I love you.”

Every time she said it she made his heart flutter, but somehow it had felt like even more of a blessing after once being sure he’d never hear it again. Or maybe it hit him harder because he was still so fragile. Either way all he wanted was to hold her, and he guessed he had _that_ look on his face yet again because she read it and pressed herself into his chest, leaning her head against his jaw.

“Clint’s the best thing that ever happened to me too.”

Barney nodded. “I know that feeling.”

“Alright...” Laura stepped up to them, touching his arm. “I think this is enough soppiness for now.” Crossing behind, she ran her hand across his back and onto Nate’s. “Shall we give your dad a rest?”

The boy shook his head, mumbling a defiant, “No,” to match, and got what he wanted as his father smiled.

“He can have a little bit longer; he gives a good cuddle.”

“Yeah, he specialises in those.” She kissed their son’s cheek to reinforce that he could trust the comfort and safety he felt, then looked across to the other two. “You hungry, kids?”

“Always!” Cooper answered.

“Kinda...” As Lila came to their side once more, the look on her face told Barney that that wasn’t really the thing on her mind.

He put his arm around her shoulders again, coaxing her to join her little brother for a cuddle. “Me too, honey.”

Laura reached out to Cooper, noting him watching his sister and then his father. “Come on, shall we order some pizza?”

After just a moment, his lips started to curl upwards; she had a feeling his dad was already starting to convince him. “Yeah.”

Barney beamed at his wife. “I think pizza sounds like a great idea.”

“Thought you might say that.” Gazing back at him, she stretched onto her tiptoes to kiss him over Nathaniel’s head. “Pizza it is.”

Watching them all smile, Clint held Nat closer, tilting his head down so his whispered words could only reach her ear. “Thank you for saving me so I could be here to see this.”

She beamed, couldn’t help herself, turning her head so she could answer in kind. “Right back at you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Looking forward to eating more than their fill of pizza, they all settled in the living room together, opting to stream a family friendly comedy they could relax to, or talk over without any issue. Nate had clambered up onto one of the sofas before anyone else could get near, so Laura had sat alongside him, tucking the boy against her as she met Barney’s smile with a nod to join them. After Cooper claimed the armchair, Clint let Lila pick which side of the larger couch she wanted before he and Nat squeezed in beside her.

With their stomachs full, they all grew noticeably quieter, Nathaniel climbing onto his mom’s lap for a cuddle but happily trading her in for his dad when she’d needed to get up. That was where he stayed until Laura’s voice coaxed the pair to lift from their drowsiness, her palm coming to rest against the back of Nate’s head. “I know you don’t want to go, but your extra half hour is over. It really is your bedtime now, honey.”

Barney watched his sleepy face, the look of a child that did want to sleep but was afraid of missing out. He couldn’t help thinking about all the time his son really had missed out on due to his absence. “I’ll let you in on a secret; I’m not gonna last much longer either. So, how about, I carry you up, we both put you to bed, and you and me can have a story before we go to sleep?” The boy nodded against his chest, holding on a little tighter, so his dad gathered him closer. “Come on then.”

The others said goodnight to the youngest Barton before his parents took him up. They helped him change into his pyjamas without protest, but as they drew the covers over his legs, the silent plea in his eyes became even clearer. “I’m not tired, Mommy.”

She smiled, perching on the side of the bed as she gazed at him. “I know you’ve had a very exciting day, going out with your auntie and uncle, and then your daddy coming home. It’s been very emotional and wonderful for me too, so I understand that you don’t want today to end.”

“But I’m not going anywhere, little buddy. You can sleep and I’ll still be here in the morning.”

“You promise?”

Barney nodded with exaggerated sincerity. “I promise.”

His resolve waning, Nate drew his teddy into his arms. “That’s good. I still want my story though.”

“Of course.”

“Coming right up.” Laura headed to his shelf, picked a book out, and as she sat back down, passed it to her husband. “This one’s his favourite. He likes it when you do the voices.”

The sight of the cover drew an even bigger smile from him. “This was Lila’s favourite too. I, I can definitely do voices. You ready?”

“Yeah!”

Laura wrapped her arm around Barney’s back, watching both his face and Nate’s fascinated one while he read. As he passed the intro, she found herself smiling at how animated he became, his dramatic expressions matching the personas of the characters he pretended to be. By the time he was finished, he was watching the adorable sight of their son’s eyelids growing heavy, and beaming as he helped Laura tuck him in.

A half smile formed on his little face as he struggled to keep his eyes open. “Daddy, I love you.”

Blowing out the breath that almost caught in his throat, he watched his wife turn her smile from Nathaniel onto him. He kissed their child’s forehead, softly stroking his dark locks as he whispered, “And I love you, Nate.”

“And you, Mommy… love you.”

Laura tilted her head as he finally started to lose consciousness. “I love you too, my sweet little boy. Night night.”

They left him to sleep, half closing the door on their way out, but Barney couldn’t resist another look before departing. She sidled up to him, following his gaze onto their son’s now curled up form. Smiling, she turned back and found him still in staring in awe. “Hey,” she whispered, placing both hands on his shoulders and waiting for him to turn to her. “He’s just as smitten with you. He’s a very lucky boy to have you as his daddy, and he doesn’t even know how lucky yet.” Laura beamed as he finally held her back, leaning into his touch. “But I do.” With his lips curling upwards to match hers, she shifted her right hand up to his cheek to pull him into a kiss.

“Thank you for giving me three beautiful children, giving me _him_.”

Fondness shone in her eyes as she shook her head. “It felt more like you left him with me. When I found out I was pregnant with him, even though I was scared about the prospect of being a single mom, and of _three_ , even with support… I was so happy. If you never made it home, I still had one more piece of you, and he is so much like you. A little gift, a bundle of hope amongst the pain, reminding me that you would never leave us, not really, even if you never got to meet this tiny person that was made out of our love. I always hoped you would though.”

Leaning down to get a little closer, he locked his gaze on hers, suddenly ever so serious. “I will do everything in my power to be the dad he deserves, that they all do. And to be the husband, the man that you deserve.”

“ _I know_.” She moved her left hand up from his arm to meet the other one, sinking her fingertips into his hair to draw his forehead to hers. “You’re already him.”

With his breath starting to come out ragged, she shook her head ever so slightly before pulling him into a hug. There they stayed, gently rocking together for a long minute until, with a kiss to her temple and one last look at their son, they finally decided to let him sleep in peace and rejoin everyone else downstairs.

* * *

A few hours later, two soft taps at the door to the sunroom shook Barney from his thoughts. Pushing himself back against the pseudo-headboard of the sofa bed, he looked over at the source of the noise. Lila had always been the sort of child who liked to check up on him, maybe that was something she hadn’t grown out of, or maybe Nathaniel had taken after his big sister.

He had opted to sleep there so his wife wouldn’t need to broach the subject, setting the bed up once Nat and Clint had disappeared for an early night, and he and Laura had done a final check that their children were settled. As she’d stood watching, he’d assured her it was simply to ease the pressure on them, so she wouldn’t need to choose between that vulnerability and seeming to push him away. With his repeated promise for however slow she needed had come another that he wanted to go at their own pace too, cherish every moment together. She’d kissed him goodnight, made it linger, but her anxious expression hadn’t lifted much before she’d left him so he still felt restless; he would welcome the distraction whoever was at the door. “Come in.”

The door opened about halfway, soft yellow light broke into the room, but only as much as the distant light above the stairs emitted. The figure he saw was larger than expected, but he would know her anywhere.

“Laur? What are you—? Can’t sleep?” She reached for the light switch, flicked it on, and the first thing he really saw was how much she’d scrunched her features up. Sitting up, he looked at the frown on her face. What had he done to her? To the woman that had given him everything, and whom he’d promised to spend his whole life trying to make happy?

“No.”

“Me neither.”

A weak smile forming on her lips, she leant against the frame of the door. “Makes no sense, right?”

“Makes perfect sense to me,” he promised.

The look on her face didn’t tell him whether that made it better or not, but she didn’t clam up, so that was enough for him. “It’s just… all those nights on my own, all the times I prayed to anything out there for just one more day, one more night with you… Now you’re here, now we’ve got that and after years of wanting you here, doesn’t it just feel silly to be alone for even one more night? Not to be together?”

Yet she was still in the doorway, hadn’t asked to join him, or simply made her way into the bed beside him. “Yeah. So what can I do to make doing that feel okay? How can I make it better? How can I make it up to you?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head, gaze turning to the hand on the door frame. She wasn’t even sure it needing making up for, after all he’d been protecting them.

“Anything, just ask.” There was no request from her, only silence. “Look at me. Anything you want. It’s okay, just listen to your heart and tell me what you want.”

She looked into his eyes, so calm, so tender and constant, and felt tears start to form in her own. “I want to know everything.”

Barney nodded. “Okay.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Can’t sleep either, remember? I told you I’d tell you what happened, now is good for me.” Laura didn’t move, just shifted her weight, so he moved across the bed to make the space for her more obvious. “I want to.”

For one more breath she stayed there, then with surprising purpose closed the distance between them and reached for his hand. As his fingers closed over hers, she pulled on his arm. “Come with me.”

“What?” He swung his legs off the bed, but didn’t rise.

“Just... do it.” It wasn’t a command, more a plea, like it was taking courage she was worried would fade.

So he obeyed, letting her lead him from the room and up the stairs to another, one that was all too familiar to him. He stopped before the threshold, his feet suddenly rooted to the spot, that bed was a place he’d longed to be for how many hundreds of nights? “I’m not trying to rush you, my love. I’d never—”

“I know.” She looked back at him, his brow was creased, exactly how she imagined hers had been before. “I wish I could say that I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I trust you.”

She was crazy. She was perfect. Did he ever stop getting luckier? As she tugged at his hand again, he didn’t see how he could deny her, not when he was yearning to curl up with her too. So he followed, let her lead him to their bed and slowly, carefully, joined her under the covers. “So… everything.”

“So…” she mimicked, took a beat at the sight of his tense features, then nodded. “It’s alright; just start from the beginning.”

“Okay.” A sly smile gradually formed on his lips. “Once upon a time there was a dashing young archer, one day he looked across a crowded circus tent and saw the most beautiful—”

“Stop it.” She pressed her hand to his chest, and then with a smile, balled her fingers up to pull him closer with his shirt and plant a kiss on his lips. “I know that story.” A tale of a fledgling romance, of finding a reason to fight in each other, their love growing deeper every day as they hauled each other out of that life and into the sun. “Everything we’ve been through, I know who you are. You can tell me.”

For that same reason, he believed her. “The explosion, what did they tell you?”

“They called it a freak accident, told me it was definitely your car by the chunk of number plate they’d found. They made it clear from the start that they hadn’t found a body,” a breath of laughter fell from her lips as she touched his side. “Clearly. But CCTV confirmed you’d left work a few minutes before. Eventually they decided there must have been a flaw with the fuel tank to cause it. I was paid compensation, but not for you, not without a body at those temperatures. By then I was three months pregnant and still waiting for you to defy the odds and walk through the door.”

His gaze dropped before he consciously lifted it back up to meet hers. “It wasn’t an accident.”

“I always wondered, but I did work that out when you said someone tried to kill you.”

“That day, I saw something was under the car. I thought it might be an animal, so I crouched down to look. It was just some lost clothing but by chance I also saw there was something odd stuck to the underside of the car. I’ve seen enough movies and heard enough tales from Clint and Nat to know that’s never good. My instincts kicked in and I ran. I don’t know what the trigger was, if it was timed, or remote but I was just about out of the parking lot when it blew. I felt the heat, if I had been anywhere near it would have killed me.”

“You survived by chance?”

“Half by chance, half by wit, thank you.” From the tone of his voice it was a matter of fact, but the look on his face told her he was just trying to make her smile.

It worked. “Does it really matter how? All that matters is that you did.”

“True. But as I looked at the flames all I was thinking about was you. I pulled out my phone to call you and I almost did.”

“I wish you had.”

“I wanted to, believe me.”

“So what stopped you?”

“The thought that if someone could plant a bomb on my car then they could also bug my phone, that they could come after you all. The fear that it might be someone from our past looking for you too.”

“Was it?”

“I’ll get there,” he assured her, reaching over to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Where did you go?”

“I ran again, away from the scene before anyone could show and see me. I hid in an alley and tried to work out what to do. I knew I couldn’t go home straight away. But that was all I wanted to do so I set to working on making that safe. Problem was I had no idea who was after me. I decided to find out, and make sure it was safe for you before I came home. I never thought it would take as long as it did.”

Laura smiled, but it was marred by the sorrow shining in her eyes. “I should think not.”

“Here.” He reached out for her, and as he did so, she wanted nothing more than to hold him too. She let him draw her close, pressing herself against his warm body, and when she wrapped her arm around his middle, he kissed her temple and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. “Keep going.”

“I looked for somewhere to shelter for the night. Found this shady little, ultra-budget motel, horrifically cheap. After a couple of days, I worked out a deal for a free room and a little food if I helped out with cleaning the place and fixing it up; it’s not such a bad place now. I used it as a base, immediately started surveillance on work, on the police station, searching for someone who was checking their device had done its job or looking for me.”

“All this time...? You were that close?”

“Mostly. Didn’t feel like it, right?”

His answer was in the tiny shake of her head before she even spoke. “No.”

He leant just a fraction closer, his voice growing even quieter. “It took all the strength I had to stay away. Every day I looked at your picture, and each of theirs, and I’d remind myself how it was to protect you. If I’d known about Nathaniel, how you really needed me, I… I wouldn’t have been able to hold out, somehow I’d have been there.”

“I know.” She leant her head against him; that was everything she’d wanted at the time, and maybe it was reckless, but it was so very him. Still, she believed it necessary, him missing those precious months and their son’s first few years, that she’d needed to do without him too, all so they could spend the rest together, so their little ones could have their father back. “Yeah, I wished I had you... but I wasn’t on my own.” A shaky breath escaped his lips and when the sound reached her ear, she lifted her head and ran her fingers through his hair. “How long did it take you to find them? Who was after you?”

“After a month I was sure of someone involved, I followed him for weeks, worked out his connections and then theirs, mapped out the network. It took me months and months and I was starting to despair; I still didn’t know who they were, and then finally, after about a year and a half, I recognised someone.”

“That long? That long just to find out who? You should have come home way before then. We could have worked it out together.”

“We could have. But I was sure that if I had we’d have all been in danger. I had to be a ghost or they’d realise I was alive, and they’d probably find you.”

Her eyes searched his, looking for an answer she worried she’d already figured out. “Who?”

“Their leader. Markus Hayes.”

“ _What_? What do we have to do to be free of them?”

“We are.” He held her tighter, kissing her forehead. “And we’re safe, I promise.”

“Why did they want to hurt you? Why would Markus come after you, us after all these years?”

“Honestly? I don’t know; I never spoke to any of them. I watched them though. Hayes had turned the circus from corrupt and crooked into a full-blown criminal organisation. Maybe we know too much and he thought we were a threat?”

“But why you and why then? Why not Clint with his image in the news? If they want to silence the three of us that left, then when the Battle of New York made him and his work famous, wouldn’t he be the prime target?”

“Would you want to piss off the Avengers?”

Despite everything, the bluntness made her laugh. “No. But I can name two Avengers who would have been very pissed off if they’d discovered someone had targeted you. I think the others would have rallied with them. Why didn’t you go to them? They’d have protected you, helped work it out and stopped them... probably brought you home much sooner.”

“Those two were protecting you, that was the priority. The rest of them are hardly covert. Plus I guess it’s the big brother in me talking but I wanted to keep Clint and Nat safe too. For all I knew they’d gone for me to get to him, scare him, and you, into staying silent. Now I wonder if maybe I wasn’t just an easier target; maybe Markus just happened upon me that day, sent his buddy after me. Maybe they weren’t looking for you, didn’t even know that we were still together. If that’s true... I wish I’d known.”

The tension in her brow started to mirror his. “And I wish I’d made them look for you. I thought if you were okay you would come home, and then you didn’t so I asked them to look. But they told me they were here for me and the children, that that was what you wanted.”

“They were right.”

“And then two weeks in I found out I was pregnant. Suddenly it felt real, like maybe I’d really lost you and I’d never see you again, that our baby might never know you, or you him.”

“I’m here now,” Barney reminded her, watching her control a few steady breaths before giving up and letting him draw her further into his chest. As she settled, he kissed her temple. “I love him so much.”

“I was scared. Clint said he’d step up for you for as long as he was needed. Nat promised to be around too. I was selfish and thought I needed them when you needed them more.”

“No no no. They were exactly where they should have been, did what I asked them to. You weren’t selfish, you did the right thing for our children, for yourself too, and I love you for it.”

She closed her eyes, unable to escape the feeling that the best thing for them all would have been getting him home. He was probably right about the danger, but what was the point in having two superheroes at home with her when they could have kept them just as safe by removing the threat and bringing him home? At least he was alive, and there in her arms. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” He pressed his cheek against her, trying to convey just how much he felt it too. “It’s alright. Ready for more?”

After a few more seconds, Laura lifted her head, palm resting against his chest as she nodded. “How are you here now? How did you stop them?”

Looking back at her, he felt his brow furrow against his will.

“Hey.” She leant closer. “How?”

The gentle look in her eye made what he was about to say feel even worse. “I didn’t.”

“What?”

Thankfully the only thing he saw beside the kindness was confusion; she still trusted him, believed they were safe. “I spent so long trying to establish their weaknesses and gather intelligence and evidence, work out a way to stop them for good. Then I was Blipped, like you.”

“Good.” She cupped the back of his head, thumb stroking his temple. The tenderness slowly coaxed away the dread the phenomenon had instilled in him. Eventually he smiled, just a little, and she did the same. That meant five years they were together, and hopefully five extra they both still had to come.

“When I got back, they were gone. No sight of them, a hell of a lot less crime in the area, even the circus façade had gone. I couldn’t believe it, and then I saw the news and wondered what the hell had happened in those five years. Could they really all be gone? Some weren’t, mostly those that had been Blipped too, but after a week or so they disbursed with no leader or structure. Then I heard about a legend, a man they called Ronin who’d been wiping out criminal organisations… turns out he started with that one.” He shifted his gaze away from her for a second, trying to force the tears that were welling up to fade away. “They were gone, it was over and everything I’d worked so hard at had done nothing.”

She shook her head. “No. You kept us safe.”

“Well once I knew it really was safe, I headed straight home to you. I walked miles and miles, hardly rested because I just couldn’t take it anymore, I needed to see you. I love you. I love you so much.”

Laura ran her fingertips along his jaw, refusing to let him look away, not that he wanted to. Her eyes were watering too, but she was holding his gaze like she couldn’t see anything else either. “I love you, Bear.” With the slightest curl of her fingers, she brought him closer and met him halfway with a tender kiss.

The words hitting his heart, he started to crumble and she gathered him to her, his head caught in her palm.

“I’ve got you. I’m here now. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that on your own. I wish I’d been there with you.”

He held her just as tight, pressing his chin onto her shoulder. “Oh Laur... I’ve been such an idiot, haven’t I?”

“Hey,” she whispered. “Come on, none of that now; I love you.” Turning her head, she kissed the sensitive skin behind his ear. “We’re all alive, safe, together.”

He nodded against her. “And I’m gonna be here for you all my whole life, and beyond.” Carefully letting her go, he drew back just enough to look her in the eye again. “I’m yours forever.”

She smiled. “I know.”

Almost as if he hadn’t heard her, he cupped her cheek and leant a fraction closer. “I promise.”

“I believe you,” she reassured him, and before he could say anything more, silenced him with a kiss. “Now come on,” she sunk her fingers into his hair. “Somehow you’re even more tired than me. Too tired. Let’s finally get some sleep, shall we?”

“Here?”

The smile spread even wider across her face as she nodded. “Here with me. Right where you belong.”

“Laur...”

“Bear...” she gently teased, copying his soft, affectionate tone. Then she ran her fingertips round to his jaw and leant closer to insist he listen. “Lie down.”

Without the energy, or much will, to argue, he relented and did as she asked, pulling her after him and onto his chest.

Stifling a laugh, she let him hold her there, settling her head against him. “I love you.”

He reached for the light, then curled back into her, kissing the top of her head. “I love you too, more than ever. Thank you for... everything, just everything. Where would I be without you?”

“Probably the same place I’d be without you. So thank you for being you, _wonderful you_ , despite everything that life keeps throwing at you. I’m so glad I met you.” She closed her eyes, soaking in the peace and the rhythm of his heart, the proof that her husband had finally made it home to her.

“And married me?”

“And married you.” The laughter disrupting her breath reflected the joy on her face as she shook her head. “Go to sleep.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was well into the next morning when Barney started to wake, shifting his head and causing Laura to stir too. She’d actually woken a while before and found him still deep in slumber, proving he truly had needed the rest more than her. As keen as she was to make sure he got it, and reluctant to leave their cosy bubble, she had gladly stayed. Curling a little more towards him, she’d revelled in his presence, his warmth, the sound of each deep breath, the way his arm still lay around her like he’d needed to know she was there. Utterly content, it hadn’t taken long at all for her to end up dozing beside him, losing all sense of time until she’d felt him move.

When she saw tension building in his features, she reached out, touching her palm to his chest. “Bear? Hey, shh.” Softly hushing him, she slid her hand up to his neck and then cheek. “Hey, it’s alright, it’s me, you’re home.”

Opening his eyes, he looked at her for a moment, and she watched as his expression passed through confusion right into bliss.

“Morning.” She smiled. “You okay?”

“I love you.”

She beamed back. “I know. I love you too.” Meeting him halfway in a kiss, she gently ran her thumb across his cheek. “Nightmare?”

“No. Just… I think something in me was trying to hold on to the dream, like it didn’t expect it to be real.”

Her fingers curled against his jaw slightly. “It had better be real. It’s okay, you’re home now.”

He nodded, slowly running his fingertips along the curve of her waist as he mulled over the remnants of that feeling. “Laur?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you ever worry that you’d taken it for granted?”

“Us? Our life? Not really. Maybe once or twice, maybe on the days when I found it the hardest. I always knew how good we had it. I mean, we fought so hard, and I’ve always known how special what we have is… but you did?”

It wasn’t exactly an answer, but his brow seemed to tense up even more. “Be honest with me, did I ever take you for granted?”

“No.” She shook her head, her eyes watering at the thought of him alone for all that time, endless fears and anxieties running through his head, without her to chase them away. “You were attentive, affectionate, considerate, sensitive. You’d make me laugh, especially when I needed it, looked after me, you did at least your share with our home and our children. I picked a good one in you, Barney Barton.”

“Well I, I picked the best in you.”

His eyes were shining to match hers, and she could see his lip starting to quiver, so she reached out to stroke it with her thumb. “Hey…” she whispered to him, shifting herself a little closer. “You know that feeling secure in our relationship isn’t the same as taking it for granted. You didn’t take it for granted, you were too busy showing me how much you love me, and Cooper and Lila.”

“You felt secure too, right?”

Her touch settled against his jaw as she nodded. “I _feel_ secure. Bear, you’d already given me enough love to last a lifetime.” The corner of her mouth quirked upwards. “I still want more though.”

Barney smiled back at her, curling his arm tighter around her back to draw her closer. “There’ll always be more. I meant it when I said I will always love you.”

“Good, because I meant it every time I told you I’d be yours forever.” She leant in for a kiss, sliding her hand across his cheek to cup his face and give him another soft peck. “Go easy on yourself. You’re still tired.”

“I’m alright.”

She nodded. “But definitely tired. It’s more than okay for you to be vulnerable with me. Just know that however real your tired mind thinks they are, your fears are just that, only fears. I know it’s hard not to, but try not to listen to that voice, to the doubts. Trust me instead.”

“Of course… I mean I do trust you.”

“I know, but thank you.” Laura smiled, ran her fingers through his hair, watching as he gazed back at her, their fingers caressing each other’s skin. “You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met.” As he queried that with his furrowed brow, she kept her eyes on his, leant closer and just beamed at him. “It’s true. You’re my Trickshot, my Bear. You have a whole family that loves you, you’re a wonderful husband and father and brother. You are so beautiful and I am stupidly in love with you, you still make me feel like I did when we were teenagers.”

He grinned, kissing her this time and leaning into it as he felt her respond. “I love you,” he whispered, punctuating his sentences with more kisses. “I love you so much. I’m just as crazy about you. I hope you know you’re all those wonderful things too.”

“What? A great father?”

“Shut up.” He shook his head at her and she smirked as he gave in to laughter. “You know what I mean.”

“Maybe.” Shifting her hand to his cheek, she guided his lips back to hers anyway.

“Wife. Mother. Sister.” The fact she didn’t actually have any siblings was a technicality. Laura had married into having a brother, but a long time before had declared him as much when she’d first suggested escaping the circus. Barney still remembered the way his girlfriend had assured him that he hadn’t needed the condition of bringing Clint with them, he was always part of the plan; ‘he’s like my little brother too’. He’d already known she was the one, but had sworn he’d fallen in love with her all over again. Years later, when they’d finally got to meet Natasha, they’d both gained a sister in her too, known it from that very first day despite the secrecy she and Clint kept around their relationship.

“Shh.” She grinned, the laughter that bubbled out of her proof that she didn’t exactly mean it. She’d always loved the way they wove whispers around kisses, or stole the latter in a conversation’s pauses. The playfulness, the casual affection and comfortable intimacy, she’d missed it all so much, missed _him_ so much. Though she’d tried compensating for the loss by showering their family with even more love than ever, as wonderful as that was it just wasn’t the same, but how could it be? “Just kiss me.”

Happy to oblige her, he did just that, each one drawing him in to hover a little more above her, until she held him back with a hand on his cheek.

“I love you, Bear.”

He took a breath, touching his forehead to hers. “Well, you’re the love of my life.”

Laura tilted her head up to brush her lips against his, and then ran her palms down his chest and round to his back. Taking the hint, he returned her kiss, smiling into her mouth as she melted under his touch.

“I could kiss you forever.”

Grinning, she let out a little laugh. “Tempting.”

“But we need to get up, I know.”

She nodded. “I promise you kisses all day though.”

“I suppose I am starting to feel hungry. I’ll make you a deal.”

Her eyes narrowed, the curiosity softening her smile. “What deal?”

“One more kiss. And then we tear ourselves from these covers, this bed, and get ready to have breakfast with our family.”

“Make it two.”

“Well you drive a very hard bargain, Mrs Barton, but I think I can meet your demands.”

“Good. Come here.” Not wasting any time, she drew him into the first of those kisses, enjoying the chance to savour it.

“One more,” Barney whispered to her, making it soft and slow, and then the instant they parted, gently pulled away.

Before she could really react to it, he was almost out of reach, sat poised on the edge of the bed. Her arm lying across his side of the mattress, she watched with a smile as he rose and turned to face her again.

“What?”

She shook her head. “Just, I love you. You were right, this is like a dream.”

It was a sentiment he agreed with wholeheartedly, but to hear her say it made his own grin all the more uncontrollable. “I love you too. But we had a deal, _Firefly_ , and the only way you’re getting any more kisses, is if you come and get them.”

* * *

When they made their way downstairs, Barney and Laura found a hive of activity waiting for them. Cooper and Lila were lounging on the couch, game controllers cradled in their laps until she tossed hers aside, leapt up to meet them and got her reward as her dad gathered her in his arms. “Hey, honey.” As he looked over the top of her head, he noticed Cooper set his device down too. “Morning.” He smiled, then mouthed, “Later. Promise.”

The teen nodded carefully. “Hey, Dad.”

Gently easing Lila off him, he followed his wife across the room, watching his brother busying himself in the kitchen while overlooking Nate playing on the floor with his aunt. “Morning, guys, and hey, little buddy.”

“Hi, Daddy! Hi, Mommy!” He looked away from the toys just long enough to see them smile before getting engrossed again.

Clint closed the cupboard door, checking the counter was clear before moving away to give them the space. “Sleep well?”

Laura nodded. “Thank you so much for letting us have a lie in.”

Natasha shifted her gaze from Clint to the pair of them. “Well you did look after us, we thought it was only fair.”

Gazing back at her, she couldn’t help the laugh that found its way into her voice. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to ever owe anyone anything ever again.” The way the redhead shook her head only made her smile wider. “I’m just glad you’re both okay now.”

“Well, we’re getting there,” Clint murmured, lowering himself down beside Nat and kissing her temple.

For a moment, they let the affection dwell in the air, and then Barney broke the silence. “I’ll make us some breakfast.” His hand brushed over Laura’s arm as he headed for the fridge. “Fancy your favourite?”

“Hey, Bear?” she called after him, and when he glanced back at her, crossed the floor to join him and laid her hand on his back. “Let me do that. You take it easy, go play with Nate or something.”

“I want to.” He fixed his gaze on hers. “I’ve missed this.”

Unable to deny him, she stared back, whispered, “Okay,” then smiled and leant in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. Sounds love—”

“Mommy!”

“Yeah?” With a grin, she looked down at her youngest as he padded towards her.

“Why’d you call Daddy a bear?”

“No.” Laura shook her head, eyes crinkling at the edges as she met him midway. “I didn’t call him _a_ bear, just ‘Bear’.”

“Yeah, I said ‘bear’.”

Barney looked over his shoulder at them, and she caught a glimpse of the overwhelming smile on his face, as she crouched down to their son’s level.

“Yeah, _but_ I wasn’t calling him a bear like he’s an animal. It’s a nickname.”

“A nickname?”

He reached out to her and she nodded, hoisting him into her arms as she realised this was about to become a full conversation. “It’s what we call it when you give someone a name that is different to their real name, usually a shorter one. So like how we call you Nate instead of Nathaniel, or how your Auntie Natasha is Nat to us.”

“And Hawkeye.”

“Exactly, that’s a kind of nickname too.”

“And Daddy is Bear?”

The calculating look on his face brought a smile to hers. “Just to me, yeah.”

“Why?”

Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she slowly took him over to the edge of the kitchen, leaning on the counter along from Barney. “Why what, sweetie?”

“Why just you?”

“Well, a very long time ago, before Cooper was born, even before Clint had met Nat, when me and your dad and your uncle were teenagers in the circus, I gave your daddy that nickname. Life had been hard on us all, and when I met your dad, things started to change, the two of us had hope for a better life, the one we have here with you guys. I hadn’t known him very long, just a couple of weeks, but I knew that he was special, and he made me feel safe when I hadn’t before, and I knew I was falling in love with him, or maybe already had. The day we had our first kiss, that’s when I gave him the nickname. That’s why it’s mine.”

It suddenly dawned on her that while she’d been telling her story, the movement beside her had slowed to a stop, and as she looked round at her husband, found his gaze already on them. The familiar affection in his eyes added to her smile, and catching Nate staring at his dad from the corner of her eye only made it even broader. Giving in to the pull he felt, Barney went to them, drew them into his arms and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I hope you know I felt the same way about you. I really nailed that love at first sight cliché.” She nodded her head ever so slightly against him, and then he lifted his hand to stroke his son’s hair. “And you were a kind of love at first sight too.”

Nathaniel grinned at the compliment, and Laura matched it with her own, tilting her head at him. “You know, you actually have your own special nickname for him. You get to call him ‘Daddy’.”

With a nod, Barney leant in to whisper to him. “And I do love that name.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve these people he got to call family, but at the very least he was going to make absolutely sure they knew how he felt about them. “I love you too.” Coaxing him a little closer, he kissed Nate’s forehead with a smile, then felt Laura press one of her own against his shoulder.

“Come on you, what’s happening with our eggs? Maybe you need supervising.”

Chuckling, he brushed a quick kiss against her temple in return, whispering, “They’re coming,” before he headed back over to his cooking. “But I’m certainly not gonna say no to having you two supervise me anyway.”

* * *

After they’d eaten, Laura gathered everyone in the living room to let Barney talk to them. He welcomed her help and support, easing the pressure of the situation by choosing somewhere more relaxing, and more importantly staying by his side. Perched on the arm of his chair, she wrapped her arm around his shoulders, making her solidarity clear, not that it was needed, and providing a reminder of her love, which definitely was.

Cooper and then Lila sat closest to them, Nathaniel further away and nestled between his aunt and uncle. Though they realised he likely wouldn’t understand a lot of the details, they knew the infant deserved to hear about his father’s absence with his siblings, even if he clearly didn’t care about lost time considering he’d gained a dad he never thought he’d have.

Nat and Clint weren’t exactly bothered about specifics either. Adept at reading people they knew his claim of protecting his family had been the truth, and far beyond that knew exactly who he was; a man whose entire universe sat in that room, who had always loved Laura with everything he had, a man who despite all the attempts to break him had become full of love instead, and had poured his heart and soul into giving his family the happy life he had craved as a child.

They’d always believed that the only way he might still be alive was if something dreadful was keeping him away. But with no one boasting of his capture or demanding a ransom, they had settled for just keeping their promise of being there for the people he loved most instead. For all they knew, they might need protection too. Finding out Laura had a baby on the way had only made their support feel more necessary, reinforcing their decision.

Barney slowly relayed his story to them all. He started with the explosion, recounting how he’d fled and his fears for their safety, but held back on a lot of the emotional details where he hadn’t with his wife. As he talked about his initial plans and work to come home, he faced what he’d thought inevitable as Clint pointed out exactly what Laura already had; he and Nat would have helped, got him home to his family much sooner.

The subtext that he could have been there for his pregnant wife, for Nate being born, didn’t go unnoticed. “Maybe I’m an idiot, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that whoever had come after me would want to get to her too or that maybe they were using me to get to you. I couldn’t give them the chance, couldn’t risk coming here or seeing you. I love you all, that includes you, Clint, and Natasha.”

The emotion that was evident in his eyes persuaded Clint to let it go, but the only real relief came from Laura drawing him closer and whispering, “It’s okay; you didn’t know. I love you.”

Given a moment to ease the guilt he felt, Barney continued his tale, quickly covering how he’d found the culprits, and then more thorough in describing the way his plan had come to be almost complete when he was taken out of existence like most of them had been. Lastly, he explained how he had been able to come home after the Blip, because a figure named Ronin had already stopped them.

Clint stared aghast at his brother, glancing at Nat who was looking back at him with a smile, before she followed his gaze back to Barney. “That was us.”

“What?”

“Well, that was what they called me, but Nat was the brains, the plan, kept me together, the reason we could take them down after I found out it was them bragging about assassinating an Avenger’s brother. Who else was that gonna be?”

His eyes filled with tears as he took it all in. “It was you? You guys took them out? Made it safe to come home?”

Natasha looked over at Clint again, at the expression on his face which told her he was hearing her voice telling him that what he was doing was good, it was just the reckless method that wasn’t. “We didn’t know if we’d ever be able to find a way to get everyone back,” she lifted her hand to touch Nate’s head as she shifted her gaze back to the rest of them, “get _you_ back… Maybe we couldn’t do that for you, and we certainly thought we couldn’t bring Barney back for you, but we could do something for you at least. We could stop them taking anyone else’s loved one, causing any more pain. We could get some kind of justice for what they did to you. We thought that maybe you were all together somewhere and would know, maybe we could finally get some peace. Didn’t exactly help, not for long anyway, but we had each other and, well, we got you back in the end.”

Clint shifted his arm from around his nephew to settle it around her too, fingertips rubbing against her side until his brother spoke up.

“Thank you.” Barney rose out of his chair, pulling away from Laura’s embrace and gesturing for the two of them to meet him halfway. As they stood, carefully untangling themselves from Nate, he swept them into a hug. “Thank you for helping me get home, for looking after my family and… and what you did to get us back. Thank you so much, I owe you everything.”

Waiting a few more seconds, Nat shook her head, easing him off them as she did so. “I have everything. I got my life back.”

Following his compulsion to hold her, Clint cracked a half smile as she reached back in sync with him, settling against his side. “So did I. And let’s face it, I would never have got that job, met her, if you hadn’t dragged me out of that circus after you.”

Unable to speak, he just shook his head, the tension visibly leaving him as Laura got to her feet to wrap her husband in affection too. “You’ve never owed us, you did your part, and massively over-repaid us with this place. We never had to worry about a roof over our heads or about money. Without this house, we might never have felt secure enough to start a family. We love you,” she flicked her gaze to her sister-in-law, added, “and you,” and then her attention was pulled to her children as she saw Cooper get up too. “And you guys, come here.”

Nat twisted to reach her free hand between her and Clint, wriggling her fingers at Nathaniel so he’d join too. He grabbed her hand, ducking under their arms as she gently pulled him into the middle of the group. Smiling, she watched as Clint stooped to pick him up, and the boy gripped onto his shoulder and then his mom’s when she embraced him too. On Laura’s other side, Barney extended his free arm to the elder two, wrapping it around his son and then stretching further still so he could get Lila in on the hug too. Natasha smoothed her hand across her niece’s back, leaning ever so slightly against her partner as she felt him draw her closer. “How about we all forget about owing each other, and just enjoy being here together?”

The only answer she got to her rhetorical question was Clint’s little nuzzle of acknowledgement before he kissed her temple.

“Guys?” Barney rubbed Lila and Cooper’s backs, pulling the other arm from Laura to tweak Nate’s chin towards him. “Thank you for listening to me,” he looked back at the eldest two, “Hearing me out. I hope you all know that I truly love you, and I hope one day you can understand why I did what I did, and maybe forgive me for being away so long.”

“I already have, Dad!” Lila sprung away from her brother to grab him into a hug, not even caring that his arms were taken up by her siblings, or that her mum was distracting him by lifting Nathaniel away from their uncle to bring him across for a cuddle.

As Barney drew the young boy into his side, he glanced down at his daughter, whispering, “Thank you.”

Nate’s fingers curling against his neck quickly stole his attention away from her again, and he smiled as his dad made eye contact. “You’re my daddy!”

Breathless and grinning, he nudged his forehead with his own and then leant back in to hold him there.

Just seconds later, Cooper finally spoke up. “Hey, Dad?”

He snapped his head round to him, his gaze soft as he squeezed the teen’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

“I love you.”

His resolve broke, but he managed to hold back the tears as he clutched them all tighter. “I love you too, all of you, so much.”

Laura reached round him to help support Nate, pressing against his back and kissing his shoulder as she rubbed his tense muscles. “See, Bear? Right where you belong. We love you.”


	4. Chapter 4

Later, after tiding the sunroom, Natasha sat with Clint looking out over the lush farmland that was bathed in sunlight. As they watched the birds in the distance, flitting amongst the trees and flowers that blew in the light breeze, he told her that it was as if nature itself knew that a great wrong had been righted, and was celebrating seeing her back where she belonged. Though the notion sounded absurd, she’d just smiled, happy to humour her partner; even if the wildlife didn’t know it, she certainly did.

But she also knew there was someone that hadn’t been quite as lucky as him. “I know things are still kind of crazy here, but now that we’re at least _functioning_ , I think I should call Pepper.”

Clint nodded, sorrow washing over his features. “I think it would certainly help to see your friendly face, and not just because knowing I got you back might give her hope.”

“And I don’t want to add to her pain, or make her think she has to worry about you for me. I want her to know I’m okay and that they haven’t given up on him. And I want her to know that if they need anything, she can count on us.”

Sweeping his palm across her cheek, he cupped her jaw, fingertips caressing behind her ear. “Of course she can.”

“I just…” Taking a second to gather her thoughts, she found herself drawn in to the troubled look on his face that told her he was remembering just how Pepper felt. “I know I couldn’t do anything, but I thought I was finally putting an end to it all, that if I could just do it and save you then no one else would have to get hurt” —she touched his chest— “physically anyway. Thanos was already dead, there wasn’t supposed to be a battle, let alone another sacrifice. Believe me, I am so happy to be here with you, grateful to everyone, and I love you so much for going back for me, but I can’t help wondering why I get to live and he doesn’t. Their poor little girl.”

“Hey, your life isn’t worth less than his because we don’t have a child.”

As she shook her head, her gaze was filled with affection. “I’m not saying that, and I know you’re biased, but it’s not worth any more either.”

“It is to me.”

With a smile, she kissed him. “Clint…”

“And Tony’s is to Pepper and Morgan, and yours is to Nathaniel. There’s no reason why other than, more than ever, I’m the luckiest man in the world. They didn’t choose between the two of you, they were just presented with a chance to get you back and I jumped at it. They could still find a way for him, and if they do then I have no doubt that she’ll jump at it too.”

“I know that. I do.”

“Morgan seemed to be doing okay at the funeral, Pepper too given the circumstances. Much better than I was anyway. We sat together for a while, the two of us, not saying much. There was an almost peace that we found in just sitting, in us both understanding that nothing could ease the grief we felt.”

Her eyes were starting to water, so she blinked to clear them. “I love you.”

“I know, and I’m okay.” He drew her into a hug. “I love you too. Call her.”

“Stay? So she can see you’re okay.”

“If you want me to.” Clint nodded, brushing a kiss against her forehead before she pulled back to unearth her phone from the depths of her pocket.

Pausing for only a second, she decided there was little point trying to prepare anything to say, that she’d just let her friend guide the conversation wherever she was comfortable. Then she dialled, sending her invitation to the video call over the network. The answer came quicker than she expected, but still a long twenty-six seconds later, the picture revealing Pepper tucked into a large chair in a room she didn’t recognise.

“Nat?”

She smiled, soft and slow, carefully watching the other woman to determine quite how she was feeling. “Hi.”

One thing was clear on her face anyway, even before she told her. “I must be even more sleep deprived than I thought to be seeing you.”

“I’m real, I swear.”

“I thought you were dead. No, you _are_ , I saw Clint, saw how heartbroken he was. That was real, you must be dead.”

She nodded. “I was… until four days ago.”

“What? How?”

“They found a loophole of sorts. Steve found out that the only way to return the Soul Stone was to sacrifice it at the temple. He realised there was a chance for an exchange in that, so he brought it back for Clint to return it instead, trade it back.”

“And he did the impossible… he got you back.”

Another nod. “I don’t think the Infinity Stones ever wanted to be used as a force for evil. That’s why they’re so hard to acquire. But I’m also pretty sure that the Soul Stone never expected a love like Clint Barton’s to claim it, for it to be someone that tried to give himself up and didn’t want the power, someone that would give it up without hesitation. I think the Stone saw that, saw the good he did with it too, and instead of the punishment they normally inflict, rewarded him.”

“Yeah... maybe you’re right.” A soft smile made its way into her lips as she reflected on that, staring at something beyond the edge of the phone for a moment. Then she looked back at them. “I’m so relieved to see you’re alive and to see you doing better, Clint; I bet you’ve never been happier to be proven wrong.”

He leant into frame, temple pressing against Nat as he shook his head slightly. “How was I supposed to know that when that cryptic bastard said everlasting what he meant was that the Stone’s power couldn’t save her? Or know that this great cosmic power would see her heart, understand why she did what she did and... let me bring her home?”

Watching him with a furrowed brow, and fondness in her eyes, Natasha reached a hand up to touch his cheek. “I think it was kind of the point that we didn’t know; that kind of power should never come easy.” As she looked back at Pepper, she could see her mind still wanting to drift elsewhere while she listened to her friends’ new revelations and theories. “But there’s always hope. If the last five years have taught us anything, it’s that. I know Bruce already tried, with the Stones, but they are still looking, trying to find a way for him.”

For a split second, her eyes widened just slightly, and then her features relaxed into some semblance of a smile. “Of course they are. If they find something, think they have a plan, make them promise to bring me in on it first.”

“I will. Pepper, I know it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m really sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault, and I, I want you to know you don’t need to worry about us.”

“I care about you guys, we both do. If there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to call us, someone to talk to or to take care of Morgan. Anything. How is she?”

“Finding it hard, _strange_ , but proving herself to be a really tough little thing… my beautiful little beacon of hope. But please remember, we do have support here too. It’s okay to take time for yourself, for _your_ family.” She purposefully flicked a glance at Clint. “It’s not just us that are feeling vulnerable, you know?”

“I know.” Natasha shifted her hand onto his thigh. “I just wish I could have done something.”

“You did. You did everything you could and it was more than enough. I don’t want you to feel guilty about anything, he wouldn’t either, please just enjoy what you’ve been given. You deserve it.”

Her subtle frown persisted, but Clint saw the concentration underneath that and drew her more into his side. “We are. I’ve been taking good care of her, and she’s been taking even better care of me. We’ve barely left each other’s side.”

Pepper’s gaze shifted to her right, leaving the screen for a moment, before she caught the redhead’s narrowed gaze in her own. “Natasha, hear me when I say _we’re going to be okay_.”

With her expression still unfaltering, they all sat in silence as the two women looked at each other, until finally Nat let her brow relax. “And I believe you. I just don’t want you to feel alone.”

“I don’t. I’m not alone. But thank you for being a friend we can rely on. Both of you.” As her phone pinged, her eyes darted to the top of the screen, and then to the side. “I should go; I promised Morgan we could curl up together and watch her favourite movie this afternoon. That was my ten-minute reminder... so I can grab our snack. She wanted chocolate, lots of it.”

Nat smiled. “Good choice. I hope you have a really good afternoon together.”

She nodded. “I’ve actually been looking forward to it all day. It’ll be nice. You two have a good one too.”

“Thanks,” Clint replied. “We’re all having a picnic in the field later. When everything has settled down a little more, you guys should come to one, come for a visit.”

“We’ll work that out some time, and I will let Morgan know that her Auntie Nat is okay, and her Uncle Clint is feeling much better, and that you asked after her. Thank you for calling me.”

“We’re always here.”

Pepper nodded. “We’ll speak soon. Bye you two.”

“Bye.” The couple echoed her, watching until she cut the connection off, and then Nat gently rested her head against Clint.

“Hey.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I suppose you could say I’m biased about this too, but you’re a really amazing friend, Tash.” A burst of laughter hidden in her breath, she shook her head against him. “There’s a reason you’ve been my best friend for so long, and not just the love of my life, soulmate stuff. Everything we have is built on friendship… well it’s actually built on trust, but…” As she lifted her head to meet his gaze, he beamed at her. “Both?”

She grinned back, cupping his cheek to hold him still as she kissed him. “I love you.”

* * *

As Laura walked across the open field, she found herself utterly enthralled by the sight of all her boys together in the sun. Whatever game they’d been playing to begin with had clearly been forgotten, all sense of structure abandoned as Nate chased his father in circles around a very bemused looking Cooper.

Watching Barney run around with their little boy was getting her all teary-eyed, but then he turned the tables on the youngster, and hearing the pair of them giggling made her laugh instead. “ _Bear_.”

Upping his pace slightly, he headed straight for her, sweeping her into his arms and briefly lifting her off the ground with a twist as a flourish. “There’s my Firefly.” As she curled into his shoulder, he pressed a kiss against her cheek. “So beautiful.”

The laughter spilling out again, she shifted her hands so she could prize him off her and get to his lips herself. “You with them? Yeah it is.” She kissed him again, her smile unfaltering as he stole another.

“I mean you.”

Soaking up the affection, she shook her head against him. “Stop it.”

He progressed to her jaw and then the curve of her neck, but when a few moments later her laughter had faded, he lifted his head. “You alright?”

The single nod in reply made him follow her gaze, leading him to the new cause of her smile, as soft as it now was.

She was looking at Clint and Natasha over on the porch seat, wrapped in each other’s arms. Clint’s right hand shifted up to her hair as she nestled further into his side, and Barney smiled as he watched him kiss the top of her head. “Just… look at them.”

“Yeah.” Laura leant into his touch as silence fell over them again, the joy on her face slowly dissipating. “You know, I really thought we were gonna lose him.”

“What?”

“After Nat. He was getting weaker every day. I felt so helpless; we’d already lost you, we’d just lost her, and I seriously thought that he was just gonna slowly fade away until we lost him too. And the thing is, I’d have completely understood. She’s not just his wife, his best friend. She’s in every little corner of his life. She’s his partner at work, all those years with S.H.I.E.L.D., all those assignments since. She’s part of his team, with the Avengers, and all those friends are ones they made together. Even with us; she’s not just _his_ family, she’s also part of his family with us. And not only was she gone, but he’d had to watch her sacrifice herself to save him.”

“Still,” he whispered, holding her tighter to press a kiss to her temple. “What a difference a few days makes, eh?”

She nodded as the obvious intention of his comment elicited a smile from her. “Five days ago, I would never have imagined this, all of us here, _happy_.”

“It’s exactly what I imagined, was dreaming of; hoping, praying for you to understand, forgive me, still love me, maybe still be mine.”

Completely focussed back on him, Laura shifted her hand forward to his jaw, leading him into a kiss. “Of course I still love you. Don’t give those worries any more thought. We’re together now.”

He beamed. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“And don’t you forget it.” She shook her head. “It’s not luck. It takes someone truly exceptional to make a guarded seventeen-year-old girl fall in love with him so fast, make her wanna dream, and trust him with it. To help her get her fight back so they can begin to make their dreams come true. To make her happier than she ever believed possible. Part of me will always be her, looking at you, wondering how _I_ got so lucky that I got to meet my soulmate at such a young age. There’s only one of you, Bear, and all I wanted was for you to somehow come home to us.”

“You gave that boy all of that too, gave him the whole world.”

With a smile sneaking onto her features again, she pulled him in to kiss him once more. “I meant what I said to Nate, that I knew you were special when I met you. You proved it. Everything we overcame, did together, made, including him. I always knew, without a doubt, that you were mine and I was yours.”

The breath he’d been half holding finally escaped in a burst, and then he leant his head closer. “I love you so much.”

“You’d better.” Laura laughed, letting him silence her with another soft kiss. “You’d better keep these coming too.”

Savouring the happiness radiating from her, he touched his brow to hers and honed in on the comforting feeling of her fingertips at the nape of his neck.

“Daddy!” Keeping the contact, they both turned to look down at Nate who had made his way back to them. “Let her go-oo! Come on! Play with us!”

Half obeying, he lowered one hand to touch the boy’s head. “What do you say, we get your mom in on the fun?”

“Hang on.” She beamed. “I would love to join you, but first, there was a reason I was helping Lila instead of playing with you guys. She wants to show you what her uncle’s been teaching her.”

“What?”

“Take a look.” She nodded her head in their daughter’s direction, and he looked over to where she was stood patiently, bow in hand as she watched them.

Barney grinned at her, making a show of it, and then gave her a nod as he held his index finger up. As she smiled back, he crouched down to talk to his son. “How about some different fun then? Come and watch your sister with me. You can ride on my shoulders.”

“Yeah!”

“Up you go then.” He hoisted Nathaniel onto his perch, taking immense joy in the excited giggling he could hear above him as they all headed over to Lila and her target.

If she felt any pressure from him watching, it didn’t show in her aim, performing just as well as ever and looking proud of herself as her father praised her. Barney set Nate down to give her a quick hug, urging her to go again as he helped gather the arrows. Lila eagerly obeyed, waiting for him to lay a protective hand onto her brother’s shoulder before she raised her bow once more.

Watching from a distance as their niece demonstrated her developing skills, Nat and Clint were still enjoying their cosy vantage point on the porch. Having the space to prop their feet up, they’d tucked themselves right back against the cushions of the luxury seat, a thin blanket lying beside them in anticipation of the temperature dropping. That hadn’t proven any concern though, both easily warm enough with the sun still high in the sky, but especially from Natasha practically lying on him. With her head against his shoulder and her hand settled on the other side of his chest, they relished in the tender intimacy, perfectly happy just lounging together.  
  
They’d done a lot of that since he’d got her back, not just because they could afford to but because she really needed it. The first night she’d been fine, which was probably just as well because he had been an absolute mess, and all too willing to let her look after him.

A day later, and the roles had been reversed. Almost. In the early afternoon, now back at the Barton homestead, they were curled up on the couch together when he noticed she was struggling to stay awake. It quickly became him checking up on her instead, him encouraging her to get more rest, in part because he wanted to join her. But, more than happy where she was, she’d turned down his offer of an early bedtime in favour of dozing right there, surrounded by the people they loved most. As it was, Laura had been more than happy to help take care of them both, just glad to have them back. She hadn’t even minded being left in charge of catering for six, so long as Clint was finally eating again.

Despite enjoying a long lie in, the next day Natasha had been just as exhausted, maybe more so. Only he had ever seen her like that before, so perhaps it was inevitable that the others would start to wonder if something was wrong. Nathaniel had been the one to speak up, questioning if she was sick, but she’d promised them all that she was just very tired after what she’d been through. It was only once they were alone that she’d confessed to it going beyond that and being more like the aching after a particularly rough assignment. Except this time, it was more intense and just about everywhere, her scars flaring up with it. Clint supposed it was no surprise, her tough body had been broken, with everything it’d had to heal it made sense that her energy levels had plummeted to compensate.

The way she’d still been so vigilant in taking care of him had, at least mostly, reassured him that ultimately, she was alright. Nevertheless, he was certainly relieved when, on the third day, she’d suggested they take their niece and nephews out for a couple of hours, and proven herself up to it. After that his need for some extra rest had seemed to surpass hers again. And with his brother’s reappearance, they’d savoured every minute they spent curled up together, watching Barney and his family get caught up in having each other back. Still recuperating, in some ways they enjoyed that more than when they directly involved the two of them, getting the best of both worlds in spending time alone as well as with their family.

“They’re not gonna need me anymore, are they?”

“What?” Natasha lifted her head, reading the concern on Clint’s face. “Of course they are. They are always gonna need you. They love you so much and they will never forget the way you stepped up for them.”

Even with his gaze held firmly in hers, the anxiety didn’t lift. “They’ve got their dad back now.”

“So?” Her eyes shone with the same smile that was forming on her lips. “You’re still their favourite uncle. They’ve always had their mom but I still had a place here.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “You will still be a second dad to them like I’ve been lucky enough to be a second mom. That’s kind of our job as godparents.”

“I know. I’m so glad he’s home, but… we only just got them back. I was looking forward to spending all the time in the world with them, _with you_ , just like you said we would.”

“We still can. They won’t stop wanting to spend time with us just because your brother is home. We’re not going anywhere either; you heard Barney, this is still our home. And even once we’ve built our new home,” she paused as her touch settled against his jaw, “ _still_ very sweet, we won’t be going far at all.”

“You’re right.” He nodded slowly, trying to heed her advice to make her voice the one in his head instead of his own. “Of course you’re right. I’m just being a total idiot. I know how lucky we are that we both get to help raise those kids again, see them grow up.”  
  
“You’re not an idiot, Clint. You just needed to be reminded of what you already know. With all the stress you’ve been through lately, I don’t blame you. And it never hurts to hear how much you’re loved, right?”

“Never.” Cupping her cheek with a smile, he planted a kiss on her. “I love you. Thanks for humouring me anyway.”

She nodded slowly, keeping her eyes trained on his. “I love you too.” For a moment, she just watched him, and as he gazed back, he could see her examining his face, her mouth shifting in thought despite the slight curl still showing there. “I know living here has given us a taste of parenthood. What if we did it for real?”

“What? I don’t…?”

“This morning I found out I was bleeding.”

“ _What_?!” He cradled her face in both hands. “Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay.”

“Yes.” She smiled, rewarding his concern with a soft kiss. “You’re not listening. Bleeding the way a woman does, the way I haven’t since the Red Room. It wasn’t much so it’s probably nothing, and I’ve been wondering whether to tell you now or give it a few days to maybe know if it’s more, but…”

“There’s a chance.”

“Maybe.” She nodded.

“How?”

“Vormir? Maybe when the Stone healed me to bring me back, it included what they did to me. I know you would love a chil—”

“ _With you_. Only with you. I never set out to be a dad, never thought I could, or should. You know that. Even when you first told me I’d be a good dad, insisted on it, it didn’t matter because I didn’t want that. I was always yours. You’re the only reason I believed I could step up for those three.” He glanced out at the field for just a split second before his eyes were drawn back to hers. “Whether we can or can’t, it doesn’t change a thing.”

Natasha smiled; he had tried to give his life for her, fallen apart in the aftermath, as if it wasn’t clear how he felt. “You love me, I know.”

“More than that; you’re my person.”

“And you’re mine. I know we don’t know if I can, if it’s possible, but would you want that? To have a baby?”

“Would you?”

“ _Clint_.” She knew he must see the way the wonder in his eyes was mirrored in her own, but still he was being tentative for her. “You know how hard it hit me when we first came to stay after Barney went missing. I already knew how good you were with children, them especially, but watching you embrace the everyday with them, that was different. I was literally watching what you would be like as a dad, how wonderful you would be, and knowing I couldn’t give you that... I felt so angry… guilty too, even though I knew it didn’t matter to you.”

Clint shook his head and she could feel his gaze boring into her as he stroked her jaw; he always hated it if she even remotely implied that he deserved better, but then again, she didn’t like it if he did the same with her. “Tasha.”

“I know we’ve both always said that we didn’t want children anyway. I also know it was never about what we wanted when we couldn’t believe we’d ever find someone, thought the worst of ourselves, or knew it would never be our choice because of what they did to me. But now? Now maybe we can and I... I’m kind of scared this might not be nothing, Clint. I’m scared that there could still be something wrong, that I’d lose it. And Nathaniel and Lila and Cooper are one thing, but our own baby? I’m scared that I wouldn’t know what to do, wouldn’t have the right instincts and feelings, couldn’t be what you’d both deserve. But—”

“You are getting so far ahead of yourself with this.” He leant closer, touching his forehead to hers. “But even if it’s not nothing, it’s going to be okay, I promise. Anyway, you’d be an amazing mom.”

A small smile broke through the tension growing in her features, and then he drew back to look at her again. “ _But_ I trust you. You and me, we can do anything together, right? And I can’t help thinking that maybe we shouldn’t just ignore this.” She placed her palm against the flat of her stomach and then felt his hand cover hers, his fingers curling under to draw it away.

“We’re definitely not going to just ignore it. We’re going to keep an eye on you, make sure you really are okay.” Settling her hand in his lap, he lifted his own, fingertips barely brushing against her cheek as they made their way across to toy with her hair. “But, how about this? What if we don’t change a single thing? What if we continue just as we always have? Just enjoy being together. Still with the promise that if the impossible happens then we will give our child more love than they will ever need, and the best that this world has to offer.” Clint cupped her face, holding his gaze on hers. “I’ve got all the miracle I’ll ever need sitting right here.”

Her whole face softened, and then slowly it lifted as she looked back at him. Natasha nodded slightly, breaking into a smile as he instantly beamed at her, and then pressed her lips to his. He leant into her touch, bringing their foreheads together and then lifted his head to kiss the same spot as he drew her closer to settle back against his chest.

Really, he wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be nothing. With how much stress her body was under, at times it appeared to be struggling just to look after her; this seemed like exactly the wrong time for such a thing to manifest. And with her scars not only still there but reminding her of their presence, it was much more likely to just be another part of her recovery.

It seemed like all the Soul Stone had done was restore Natasha to her beautiful, vibrant self. ‘All’, he smiled at the thought; like that didn’t mean everything to him, like it hadn’t brought him back to life with her. Still, even though it didn’t appear to have changed her, given the extent of its power, he couldn’t deny that she was right it could be possible. Clearly her instincts were picking up on something, and he certainly trusted them, trusted _her_.

All the same, Clint had no real expectations either way, his only concern was making sure his wife was okay. He understood her deep-seated fears, he had the same ones about himself, but they always paled in comparison to her faith in him. Thankfully, it seemed he still held such power over hers, that she knew she wouldn’t let him down, couldn’t, whatever happened. Lying there in his arms, she looked as content as he felt, thoroughly enjoying the peace, and the sun, and being back where she belonged. Their little family was whole again, and the rest had finally come home, somehow even reunited. Life was good again, and the future would be too.


End file.
